Necessities
by Katya Noctis
Summary: What's the REAL reason Kaiba built all those crazy, wholly unnecessary things - like his Blue-Eyes Jet, and the DSOD space elevator? This very silly one-shot gives a very silly reason. Slight Rivalshipping if you choose to read it that way.


"Kaiba."

Kaiba smirked, not turning to face his greatest rival. Instead, he kept his eyes on his latest, greatest creation. Gods, it was beautiful.

"Yugi. Good to see you," he said, keeping his voice light and conversational.

"What's this about, again?" Yugi appeared in his peripheral vision, coming to stand at his side and looking up - way, _way_ up; he was SO short - at the enormous blue metal contraption in front of them. "What is _this_?"

"Spectacular, isn't it?" Kaiba responded, not bothering to hide his pride and, let's face it, smugness. For all the dueling skills he'd just shown in Duelist Kingdom, Yugi couldn't do something like _this_.

"...Enormous, is what it is," Yugi said dryly, his tone still a little perplexed. "Is it a...robot?"

"Close," Kaiba smirked. "It's a jet plane."

"...You...built a plane. That looks like a Blue-Eyes," Yugi said flatly, which irritated Kaiba. Of course he built a plane that looked like a Blue-Eyes; why wouldn't he?

"Uh, yes? Obviously," he retorted. "Really, Yugi, I understand that you're significantly shorter than me, but you SHOULD be able to see that."

Yugi snorted. "I can see it perfectly fine, Kaiba, thank you. My question to you, however, is...why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you build this? What do you need it for?"

Kaiba almost groaned in exasperation. How could he not GET it? "Come on, Yugi. Why WOULDN'T I build something like this?"

"It just seems very...unnecessary."

"Some of the world's greatest inventions were deemed unnecessary at the time," Kaiba snapped, his irritation growing. Sure, it was expensive; sure, it wasn't particularly useful to anything DIRECTLY, but Yugi had no right to question that. It was there to impress. Obviously. Shouldn't the world's most brilliant CEO in the last 50 years get to travel in style?

"Right," Yugi raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Well, thanks for showing me, I suppose; it does look quite menacing. Now, did you want to talk about anything else, or was this the entire point of our meeting?"

"Oh come on," Kaiba glared at his rival, his temper finally getting the better of him. "Most people would be THRILLED to get a first look at my latest creation before anyone else; can't you _appreciate_ this? It's _powerful_ ; it evokes _wonder_. It's practically ART."

Yugi laughed outright. "Most people are impressed by what you do, Kaiba, and I'm not going to deny that your work is nearly always groundbreaking. But this is just a plane with a fancy exterior, isn't it? It's not some new dueling technology or special gaming device that can be used by thousands of people."

"So what?" Like anyone else was deserving of a Blue-Eyes Jet aside from him. And maybe Mokuba.

"Did you really bring me here just to hear me compliment your design aesthetic?"

Kaiba growled in frustration. "Yugi, I swear to every god I don't believe in, I'm going to _destroy_ _you_ in our next duel _just_ for that comment."

"Sure. If you can," Yugi smirked, turning to go. "Nice to see you too, Kaiba." He began to walk away.

Kaiba couldn't restrain himself. "COME ON, Yugi. Admit to my face that you _feel_ the power of this in your very bones. You _know_ you do!"

Yugi laughed, continuing his route to the door. "It's nice, Kaiba. But utterly unnecessary. I do hope you enjoy it yourself, though. See you on the dueling field."

The door closed. Kaiba glowered at it, thoroughly annoyed. Unnecessary, was it? And Duel Monsters dueling technology in general was TOTALLY necessary? And he'd extended this extreme courtesy to his opponent, a chance to see his new creation before anyone else, and it gets brushed off?! Without even a flicker of envy or concession to his genius? And after he'd just lost to Yugi for the umpteenth time, this just added insult to injury.

Ugh. Whatever.

Yugi did have a point that it was just a dressed-up jet, though.

 _Fine then_ , thought Kaiba. _You aren't impressed? I'll show you impressive. Game on._

* * *

Kaiba fumed, pacing his study, shooting nasty looks at his desk, which was covered with scribbled-on papers and sketches, as though it had personally offended him.

He was still smarting from his utter defeat at Battle City, and the frustration was impeding his creative process. Seto Kaiba hated losing; he hated it with the very core of his being, but usually the fact that he was far ahead of everyone he encountered in sheer intellect alone ensured that he won every game, deal, or strategy. But the fact that Yugi seemed to best him every time they came face to face, no matter what he did, was galling in and of itself.

Not to mention his utter lack of reaction to literally any of Kaiba's best technology that was on display in the last few rounds of the tournament.

The other duelists were impressed, of course. That obnoxious dipshit Joey practically shat his pants on seeing the dueling blimp...though of course, he practically shat his pants anytime something remotely interesting happened.

But Yugi? Kaiba had overheard him talking quietly with his cheerleader-in-chief, Téa.

 _"Kaiba's gone all out for this tournament, hasn't he?" Téa said, as she looked around at the enormous buffet appreciatively. Yugi smiled._

 _"Sure has. I don't see why dueling on a blimp is all that necessary, though. Someone could fall or get hurt with the buffeting the holograms cause." He frowned slightly._

 _"True. Plus it'll be really cold. Aren't you scheduled to duel at night?"_

 _Yugi shrugged. "We all are, I think. But yep, it'll be cold. Just another thing to keep us on our toes, I guess."_

 _"That's Kaiba for you."_

 _"It's just not that helpful when I have so much else on my mind, you know?"_

And then they'd reached the Alcatraz tower for the finals. He'd aimed for the maximum drama, the best holographic technology. But YET AGAIN…

 _"...A four-way duel that physically moves us up the tower to determine our placements? How is all this necessary?"_

 _Joey scoffed. "Oh come on, Yug, who cares if it's necessary? It's_ ** _Kaiba_** _, for crissakes, he always goes all out. Just enjoy the awesome craziness, man!"_

The fact that he'd ever agree with THAT incredibly stupid pseudo-duelist galled him even more.

 _Necessary_. Ugh. That word was becoming his least favorite term in the entirety of the English language. Why did everything have to be **_necessary_**? Plenty of things in life were totally unnecessary, but evoked might and power, made people tremble before their majesty, wondering at the genius who made it...in terms that obnoxious pseudo-duelist Joey would understand, they were just plain AWESOME.

Like his Blue-Eyes jet.

And his blimp.

And his dueling tower.

Yugi had to understand that. He wasn't the top duelist in the world because he thought the game was "necessary".

...right?

Kaiba felt himself become focused, his brain zeroing in on a new challenge. He smirked, and sat back down at his desk, shoving all the scribbles and sketches off of it onto the floor and pulling out some fresh pages.

His new game, his spectacular ongoing duel...would be getting Yugi to admit that his exceptional, powerful creations were TOTALLY, ONE HUNDRED PERCENT...necessary.

He got to work.

* * *

"Kaiba."

"Yugi," Kaiba turned and nodded to him as he approached outside the KaibaLand Dome. "I take it you enjoyed the opening ceremonies of my Grand Prix."

"Moderately," Yugi smiled, shrugging. "I'm not one for large crowds. But really, Kaiba...a _jetpack_?"

"Admit it," smirked Kaiba in response. "It was excellent."

"You certainly have a flair for the over-dramatic."

Kaiba could swear that Yugi was amused. "Says the duelist who constantly makes everything about saving the world," he retorted.

Yugi laughed outright. "Point taken. So what was the point of the jetpack?"

Kaiba snorted. "Partially to make a big entrance for the crowd, of course. And to show to whoever hacked our system that I'm not intimidated."

"Ah," said Yugi, nodding.

"And also to intimidate everyone else. They needed a reminder of my power."

Yugi grinned. "I figured you'd say that. But I do have to thank you for cutting me short; I hate public speaking."

The opportunity was too perfect to let slide. "You're short enough as it is." Yugi groaned, about to protest the pun. "However, Yugi, you can't fool me; you know you want a jetpack of your own. You might be able to see over children's heads for once."

Yugi raised an eyebrow. "Are you offering me one? Is this your next brainwave, dueling with jetpacks?"

Kaiba barked a laugh in spite of himself. "No. Definitely not."

"You are such a jerk sometimes, Kaiba," Yugi said mildly. "But I'm happy without a Blue-Eyes White jetpack, thanks."

"But you still want one," Kaiba pressed, trying to score a point in his mental duel.

"Maybe," Yugi shrugged. "It's just not necessary."

Kaiba internally groaned.

* * *

What would it take to impress Yugi enough to make him admit how powerful, exorbitantly dramatic stuff is _totally_ necessary for just about _everything_? How was he so ridiculously practical all the time? Maybe working in a small game shop kept his creativity limited.

Either way, the fact that he consistently bested Kaiba on the dueling field AND showed a spectacular lack of admiration for his ingenious, glorious inventions ground his nerves to the worst degree.

Kaiba knew, in the rather minuscule area of his brain that was entirely pragmatic, that he was going to ridiculous lengths for this mental duel he was having.

At the same time, however, he was satisfying _himself_ with every crazy idea that he made reality. And really, who in their right mind WOULDN'T want Blue-Eyes White Dragon vehicles taking them everywhere?!

Well, apparently Yugi didn't. He was exceptionally bizarre like that. But THIS time, Kaiba knew he'd scored an ace. _Everyone_ would foam at the mouth to even TOUCH this latest project of his, much less use it. What Japanese or American boy didn't want his own-

A knock and a beep sounded on the door behind him. "Requesting entrance, Yugi Mutou. Identity confirmed," the computerized security system said.

"Entrance granted," said Kaiba. The door opened, and Yugi stepped into the room. The observation room. He couldn't wait to see his face when he saw _this_.

"Hello, Kaiba," Yugi smiled, a bit mischievously. "Is this about a new duel tournament or a new gadget you want to show off?"

"Yugi, trying to ruin the surprise already?" Kaiba smirked. "How are you so sure it's one of those two?"

"Let's just say I know you pretty well by now," Yugi returned, with a smirk of his own.

"Well, even YOU should appreciate this one," said Kaiba, not bothering to hide his smugness. He walked over to the opaque wall opposite the door and keyed in a few commands. Immediately, the wall became transparent, showing a view down into a very large room. A large room that entirely housed a…

"Is that a _MECH_?" Yugi said incredulously. Kaiba grinned outright, scoring himself a point in his own mind.

"Yep."

"You built a mech."

"Yep."

"That looks like a Blue-Eyes."

"Obviously." It was hard to keep his cool, honestly; he was legitimately excited about it himself. He couldn't wait to pilot it. Yugi stared at it, quiet for a moment.

"...why?" He finally asked.

"Why what?" Kaiba said, irritation creeping in. He felt his eye twitch.

"Why'd you build a...Blue-Eyes mech?"

Kaiba could have smacked his own forehead in exasperation. He fought to keep his tone fairly neutral. "The question, Yugi, is not 'why', but rather 'why not'. Why NOT build a Blue-Eyes White fucking **_mech_**?"

"But what will you use it for?"

"Does it matter? Even you have to quail before its sheer might."

"You can't have spent all that time and money to build a mech just because you felt like it. It's just so…" Oh gods, not that wor- "...unnecessary."

Thaaaaaaaat was it. Kaiba had finally had enough of that stupid word. He finally let his temper show.

"Come on, Yugi! Why does everything have to have an absolute necessity for you? Can't something just be impressive and exorbitantly powerful and AWESOME on its own?"

Yugi looked at him, surprised, but said nothing. Kaiba decided to throw down his final ace. "Fine. **_Obviously_ ** it has a use. I'm using it to aid in the construction of THIS." He furiously tapped on his keyboard, and photos of a tower under construction popped up on one side of the enormous window-screen.

Yugi's expression cleared. "I was wondering what you were building. So you're using that mech to help build a new KaibaCorp tower? Interesting choice but-"

"No, _not_ a mundane office building OR a dueling tower. Here." He pulled up the plans on the screen, showing a tall, slender tower reaching up, up, up into the clouds. His most ambitious, most exceptional, and ultimately COOLEST, project yet.

"Whoa," Yugi finally looked astonished. "How high does that GO?"

Kaiba smirked. "Into sub-orbital space."

Yugi stared at him. "You're joking."

"Nope."

"What's at the top?"

"A condo."

A pause. "...that's it? You're building yourself a condo IN SPACE?!"

"With an elevator to take me there. A SPACE elevator." Kaiba couldn't keep the grin off his face.

"But you're tall enough already; you don't need something else to look down on everyone from!" Yugi's expression was pure incredulity, despite the obvious joke.

"Who cares? I'll have the world's first space apartment. And the world's first space elevator. No one will be able to even look at it without feeling awe and acknowledging its power and potential. I'm UNSTOPPABLE." He was reveling in the idea; who wouldn't want something as overwhelmingly awesome as THIS?

"Oh my god, Kaiba, do you realize how _ridiculous_ this is? Who would want this?"

"Um, Yugi, who WOULDN'T want this?"

"Okay but-"

"Do YOU have a space elevator, Yugi? Did the PHARAOH have a _motherfucking space elevator_?!"

Yugi finally seemed to lose his cool entirely. "But what's the point?! Who _needs_ that?! How is any of this at all **_necessary_**?!"

Kaiba threw up his hands, thoroughly angry now. "It's NOT necessary, Yugi! But it's POWERFUL. In words you apparently need simplified to understand, it's FUCKING AWESOME! I've made structural and technological BREAKTHROUGHS that have allowed these things to exist, and YOU, a DUEL MONSTERS CHAMPION, keep talking about it being 'necessary'?! You constantly rub your victories on the dueling field in my face and you can't appreciate all the exceptionally genius ideas I've come up with, **_what does it take to get through to you?_ ** "

Yugi's expression had gone from exasperation, to surprise, and finally...to amused understanding.

"So that's what this is all about?" He chuckled softly. "You know, Joey said more than once that your goal with all this was to make me jealous of all your gadgets as retaliation, since you couldn't beat me in the dueling arena, but I kept telling him that there was no way you'd go to these lengths just for that."

Kaiba stared at him, feeling his cheeks tingle as they warmed. Yugi sighed and got up. "I'm a practical person, Kaiba, I can't help it. Of course I appreciate amazing new technology. And no one can beat you in that area; you're a genius and everyone knows it. But..." He trailed off as though he was unsure how to continue.

Kaiba couldn't stand more than a couple seconds of silence. "But?" He prompted; finally admitting to himself that he was desperate to know Yugi's weakness.

Yugi turned to him and smiled a very amused but genuine smile. "You're the Blue-Eyes White Dragon aficionado, Kaiba. Not me. It's a very powerful monster, but it's your signature and exclusive to you." His smile broadened, becoming VERY mischievous, as though he knew what the effect of his next words would be. "Now, if you'd created something for the _Dark Magician_ , on the other hand…" He trailed off, deliberately this time.

Kaiba's mouth dropped open. It felt like his brain had come to a screeching halt. Yugi suddenly looked smug, which was a very unusual look for him. He turned to go.

"Thanks for showing me all this, Kaiba. I'll never question your incredible genius, you know." And he showed himself out.

Kaiba didn't know how long he stood there, staring at the door where Yugi had departed. It felt like eons before his brain kicked back into gear.

The Dark Magician. Such an inferior monster to his gloriously lovely Blue-Eyes. However…

...however…

He grinned in triumph, picked up his cell phone, and started issuing orders.

* * *

Three weeks later, Yugi walked back into the same observation room, again by invitation, and again Kaiba waited for him. Today, however, he felt incredibly calm and confident.

Yugi was already smiling. "Did you forget that I've already seen your Blue-Eyes mech?"

"Blue-Eyes _White_ mech, Yugi. Kindly get it right," Kaiba returned smoothly. "But no, I didn't. This is something new. I think you may appreciate it."

"All right. Let's see it."

Kaiba turned to his keyboard and tapped a few short keystrokes. The screen faded from opaque to transparent. The view below, however, was not his wonderful Blue-Eyes White Mech.

It was an entirely new mech, smaller than his Blue-Eyes, but covered in sweeping shades of purple and green. Colors he didn't altogether like all that much, but as Yugi had so helpfully pointed out three weeks ago, this wasn't about his own preferences.

"The Dark Magician Mech," he said smugly. It was quite tall, and he'd taken care to render the size and shape of the Dark Magician as elegantly as possible. Not nearly as elegant as his Blue-Eyes, of course, but that was a given. However, even he could appreciate the commanding figure the mech made, looking similar enough to the card design to be familiar, but fiercer. Narrowed eyes through which the rider could see, purple helmet obscuring most of its face, powerful booted legs unobscured by a long robe. He'd kept the cape in, though. And the staff. The staff WAS a thing of beauty; it could fire a blast or a laser shot with razor-sharp precision, which would no doubt be useful...a fact that Yugi should appreciate in particular.

Yugi made a strangled sound. Kaiba turned...and saw a combination of awe, envy and flat-out excitement on his opponent's face as he stared, open-mouthed.

It was the best thing he'd seen in his LIFE.

"It's shorter than mine. As it should be," he couldn't help adding.

Yugi's mouth closed, opened, and then closed again. He was utterly entranced. Kaiba felt like dancing a jig.

"Oh my _god,_ " Yugi finally choked out.

"I take it you appreciate it, then."

Yugi took a breath. "It's BEAUTIFUL."

"So. You like it. Good. Think it's... _necessary_?" Kaiba drawled, mentally holding his breath for the answer he hoped for, that would allow him an incredibly sweet victory at last.

Yugi blinked, seeming to come back to himself. He smiled. Then he laughed.

"Yes."

* * *

-End-

Cross-posted from AO3. Inspired by a friend of mine who described "Dark Side of Dimensions" as "Kaiba, That's Unnecessary: The Movie"...which, having seen and loved it myself, is ENTIRELY accurate.


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